sunset beach family pictures

“Navigating these murky waters”: Thoughts on parenthood by Kelsey Smith

Navigating these murky waters is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes. Sometimes, I am the captain my kids need. The house is clean. Like actually clean. My kids are happy. They are full of laughter and love. The weekly menu is planned, the weekly calendar is filled out. Clothes are washed. We have time to play. Like three days in a row at the park play. Until the sun sets play. I am happy and able to steer our ship.

sunset beach family pictures

PHOTO BY KELSEY SMITH, SAN DIEGO FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER

Other days. The seas are rough. Other days. I can’t keep on top of it. Other days. I fail. There is a mountain of laundry either dirty or clean but it’s been so long that I’m not sure. The boys’ room looks like a tornado hit. I can see the dog hair blow across the living room like tumbleweeds in the desert. We don’t have park time. The kids are arguing over every single toy and who gets to sit where. I am behind on work. We are exhausted. It is overwhelming, and loud, and I am solely responsible for sinking our ship. These are the days I apologize for.

honest picture of life at home with kids

PHOTO BY ALEKS GAJDECZKA, AUSTIN FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER

The patience I didn’t have. The short manner in which I told them to grab their stuff for school. These are not the days I want them to remember. This is not the light I wanted them to see me in. But I can’t shape their memories to my favor. I say I’m sorry and that I’ll try harder. They instantaneously forgive me. Our ship rises together. I let them know I love them, I’m just not so good at keeping us afloat all of the time.

picture of mother comforting child

PHOTO BY KELLY KOLLER OF LIFEBYKELLYK, SCOTTSDALE FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER

 

WORDS BY KELSEY SMITH, SAN DIEGO FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER. PHOTOS AS CREDITED.

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